How It all Began

Have you ever woke up in the morning and felt that something was going to happen today. You were not sure what it was, if it was good or bad? Well, I woke up in the morning of August 17^th 2012 having a feeling like that. It could had been because all the kids were going to a sleep over at their great aunts house so it would mean a romantic evening with my wife.  What happen on that night would be something that will always be embedding in my memories.

  I got home early that night. I stopped by and picked some food up and I even picked the house up a little. A candle lite table was set for when she came home. She arrived a little later than I thought. As soon as she walked in I knew something was up. I’ve known this woman for 18 years after all. She sat down and the 1^st thing she said was “let’s say a prayer” Now I knew something was up. My 1^st thought was she wanted to tell me that she wants to go back to school and become a doctor or some other venture that she tends to do every so often.  I was so far off.  I did not know what hit me that night.

Later that night I was dragging the spare mattress in the basement into the furnished part of the basement. I was banished to the basement. She had to “have her space”. She originally wanted me to leave but I refused because I didn’t have a place to go and this place was mine as much as hers. She was the one that had “issues” not me.  The worst part was we had to tell the kids when they got back from their sleepover. I found out later that her whole family was in on it. Except for her father because he was a male.

One week later, with a teary face she admitted that she “had feelings” for another man. She had gone on long hikes with him. I should had been suspicious but he was a friend of the family and his kids were best friends with our kids. I trusted my wife.  How could she possibly be “attractive” to him!? He was an older, overweight, ugly man.  He was married 3 times and had a poor reputation with relationships.

Weeks later he was a steady presence in our kids’ lives. Instead of dad being there this other man was there. I confronted my wife about this and she said that she would never replace me as their father. But, her actions showed differently.

Before I confronted her about him. I confronted him about the whole situation.

It was a warm summer late afternoon. We agreed to meet on an abandon dirt road that was half way between our home and his.  I recall calling a good friend and telling him what I was doing. He cautioned me and made a statement about he wouldn’t had met me if he was the other guy.  I was the husband after all. My wife knew I was doing this and she didn’t stop me. In fact it seemed she encouraged it. Two guys fighting over her. 

We met half way down the dirt road. He lumbered into sight. He was a big guy, lumpy looking more than fat. He was bigger than me but that didn’t matter. I wasn’t here to fight but to talk.  We were civil to each other…matter of fact like.  I said “I have loved her for 18 years and I am not giving up”. He stated his love for her and apologized. We ended up shaking hands and walking away.

Months later, My wife has moved in with him with the excuse that the place she moved too had furnace problems and she had to save money. 

She eventually got a place in a nearby town.   Months later she was back up living with him and was pregnant with his child.  She considered his place her new home and she always talked in “we” statements.

I could go into the whole legal aspects of this journey but I want to focus on the emotional, spiritual and psychological aspects of this story.